The Israelis and Arabs finally realized that if they

The Israelis and Arabs finally realized that if they continued
fighting, they would someday end up destroying the world. So they sat
down and decided to settle the whole dispute with a dogfight. The
negotiators agreed that each country would take five years to develop
the best fighting dog they could. The dog that won the fight would
earn its country the right to rule the disputed areas. The losing side
would have to lay down its arms.

The Arabs found the biggest, meanest Dobermans and Rottweilers in the
world. They bred them together and then crossed their offspring with
the meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest, strongest
puppy from each litter, killed all the other puppies and fed them the
best food. They used steroids and trainers in their quest for the
perfect killing machine.

After the five years were up, they had a dog that needed iron prison
bars on its cage. Only the trainers could handle this beast. When the
day of the big fight arrived, the Israelis showed up with a strange
animal. It was a nine-foot-long Dachshund.

Everyone felt sorry for the Israelis. No one else thought this weird
animal stood a chance against the growling beast in the Arab camp. The
bookies predicted the Arabs would win in less than a minute. The cages
were opened. The Dachshund waddled toward the center of the ring.

The Arab dog leapt from his cage and charged the giant wiener-dog. As
he got to within an inch of the Israeli dog, the Dachshund opened its
jaws and

swallowed the Arab beast in one bite. There was nothing left but a
small bit of fur from the killer dog's tail.

The Arabs approached the I sraelis, shaking their heads in disbelief.
"We do not understand," said their leader. "Our top scientists and
breeders worked for five years with the meanest, biggest Dobermans and
Rottweilers. They developed a killing machine."

"Really?" the Israeli General replied. "For five years, we've had a
team of Jewish plastic surgeons in Beverly Hills working to make an
alligator look like a Dachshund."