Pee Machine (Rap) from The Midnight Show, PeterAtencio, and Michael Busch - Video

How Can We Have Sex from The Midnight Show and Payman Benz - Video

The Israelis and Arabs finally realized that if they

The Israelis and Arabs finally realized that if they continued
fighting, they would someday end up destroying the world. So they sat
down and decided to settle the whole dispute with a dogfight. The
negotiators agreed that each country would take five years to develop
the best fighting dog they could. The dog that won the fight would
earn its country the right to rule the disputed areas. The losing side
would have to lay down its arms.

The Arabs found the biggest, meanest Dobermans and Rottweilers in the
world. They bred them together and then crossed their offspring with
the meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest, strongest
puppy from each litter, killed all the other puppies and fed them the
best food. They used steroids and trainers in their quest for the
perfect killing machine.

After the five years were up, they had a dog that needed iron prison
bars on its cage. Only the trainers could handle this beast. When the
day of the big fight arrived, the Israelis showed up with a strange
animal. It was a nine-foot-long Dachshund.

Everyone felt sorry for the Israelis. No one else thought this weird
animal stood a chance against the growling beast in the Arab camp. The
bookies predicted the Arabs would win in less than a minute. The cages
were opened. The Dachshund waddled toward the center of the ring.

The Arab dog leapt from his cage and charged the giant wiener-dog. As
he got to within an inch of the Israeli dog, the Dachshund opened its
jaws and

swallowed the Arab beast in one bite. There was nothing left but a
small bit of fur from the killer dog's tail.

The Arabs approached the I sraelis, shaking their heads in disbelief.
"We do not understand," said their leader. "Our top scientists and
breeders worked for five years with the meanest, biggest Dobermans and
Rottweilers. They developed a killing machine."

"Really?" the Israeli General replied. "For five years, we've had a
team of Jewish plastic surgeons in Beverly Hills working to make an
alligator look like a Dachshund."

BAR TENDER vs 3 DUCKS

This guy walks into a quiet bar. He is carrying three ducks.

One in each hand and one under his left arm.

He places them on the bar.

He has a few drinks and chats with the bartender.

The bartender is experienced and has learned not to ask people about the animals that they bring into the bar, so he doesn't mention the ducks.

They chat for about 30 minutes before the bloke with the ducks has to go to the rest room. The ducks are left on the Bar.

The bartender is alone with the ducks.

There is an awkward silence.

The bartender decides to try to make some conversation.

"What's your name?" He says to the first duck.

"Huey" said the duck. "How's your day been?"

"Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day."

"Oh. That's nice," says the Bartender.

Then he says to the second duck, "

Hi. And what's your name?" "Dewey" came the answer. "

So how's your day been?"

"Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. If I had the chance another day I would do the same again.

" So the Bartender turns to the third duck and says,

"So, you must be Louie"

"No", growls the 3rd duck,

"My name is Puddles.

And don't ask about my fucking day!"

nippon airlines struck by lightning in Okasa

nippon airlines struck by lightning in Okasa



nippon airlines struck by lightning in Okasa

Chilly Cheese Toast

Chilly Cheese Toast
Ingredients

2 medium sized onions
1 medium sized capsicum
200 gms cheese (grated)
3-4 green chillies
2 tbsp cooking oil
6 slices of fresh bread
50 gms butter
Salt to taste

Method

Chop the onions, capsicum and green chillies finely.
Saute the onions in the oil till transparent.
Now, add the salt, green chillies and the capsicum pieces also and saute till done.
Do not overcook the capsicum as it's flavour is best when lightly cooked.
Add the cheese to the vegetables and stir continuously till it melts and forms a paste.
Divide the above vegetable paste to six equal portions.
Apply butter on one side of each slice and the vegetable paste on the other side. Spread the paste evenly on the bread slice.
Toast on tava or snack toaster (with the buttered side downwards) till done.

Serve hot with tomato ketchup.